No matter how hard times are, take time to be kind

This past week, as I was leaving the local Walmart, I was driving my car toward the exit when I noticed a man walking in my direction. Now, as an experienced driver, when I see a pedestrian heading my way, it’s my natural instinct to slow down – which I did.

I honestly thought that upon viewing my moving vehicle, the man would stop and allow my passage. I’m aware of the pedestrian’s right of way, though, and upon noting he was indeed continuing to walk in front of my car, I stopped. Apparently, however, I didn’t stop quickly enough for him, and he let out a barrage of profanities upon me, informing me not only of my apparent lack of intelligence, but that it was somehow tied to my being female, as well.

He was angry.

In fact, he was abnormally angry – and it was scary.

Around Christmas, at the very same Walmart, a friend and I had stopped to converse with another friend of ours who is fighting a hard battle with cancer. We happened to run into her there and hadn’t seen each other in awhile, so we were talking about everything she’d been going through. There were several people shopping around us, and not wanting to be in anyone’s way, we kept an eye out to make sure we weren’t blocking the aisle. I’d noticed a woman pushing her cart behind me, so I stepped aside and casually said to her, “Can you get by?” She glared at me and said in a harsh tone of voice, “Barely!”

Now, having worked with the public for more than 30 years, I’ve seen and been subjected to many experiences with rude people. I’m not even sure why at this point in my life it would even bother me, and yet it does. This latest incident in the parking lot left me very upset, and while I have been known to approach someone who was particularly rude, I found myself actually frightened by this stranger’s demeanor.

As I watched this man walk in front of my car, spewing his hateful tirade at me, I felt my own anger well up in me and the hair on the back of my neck began to rise. How dare someone speak to me that way! How dare he bark his misogynistic diatribe, accusing me of lacking enough intelligence to know when someone is about to walk out in front of my car? It was obvious he was not someone who cared that his disrespectful language was heard by everyone around him, or that it might offend. It didn’t matter who I was. I could have been his pastor’s wife for all he knew, and he didn’t care.

Then, as I pulled out onto Main Street, I caught myself and whispered a short prayer. “OK, God. Help me understand what just happened there.”

What is happening to people? Why are we all so indignant all the time? What happened to manners and respect and dignity and consideration? Why is everyone so ticked off?

I’ve noticed that as I get older, I’m much more in tune to the way people interact with each other. I, personally, have been subjected to all kinds of public rudeness, and not just by our youth. I’ve been yelled at, cursed at, flipped off, and even threatened over the most minuscule and ridiculous things. I have found people can be very impatient, abrupt, demanding, argumentative and hot-tempered… and that’s just standing in the aisle at Walmart!

I can’t count how many times I’ve been strolling along in any number of stores, unaware that someone is even behind me, and that person would rather “humph” until they’re blue in the face or stand there in complete silence before they say a simple “excuse me.” Just two simple words we are all taught as children. “Excuse me.”

Call me old-fashioned, but when I’m the one needing passage and someone is standing in my way, I just say those two little magic words. I don’t glare at anyone or mumble an expletive. I don’t flip them the bird or accuse them of having no brains. I recognize that maybe – just maybe – they’re distracted at the moment and don’t realize I’m behind them.

That day in the parking lot, as this screaming man passed in front of my car, I lowered my window in an effort to offer some calming words, perhaps an apology for having obviously set off his “intolerance barometer.” He was not having it. He took a couple of steps toward me, which quite frankly rankled my nerves, then decided against it and instead offered up some more of his colorful evaluation of my brain and my gender, all the way into the store. All this as a result of having not brought my car to a complete halt in his good timing.

I pondered later how he would react in the event of a real emergency and counted myself as very fortunate that this was not one of those times.

I know, though, that I will have a similar experience again. It’s bound to happen. People’s nerves are frayed. We are coping with a struggling economy, many are without work, and subsequently short of money. Life is filled with disappointments, setbacks and health problems. Marriages are ending. Our morale is low. The littlest things seem far bigger and the big things are overwhelming.

Still, we have to remember that we are all in this together. There is nothing to be gained by lashing out at each other and allowing bitterness and hatred to win over our hearts. We have to try to remain empathetic toward each other. We need to try to remember to be courteous and helpful rather than turn against each other in these hard times.

In Colossians 3:12, God calls us to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. It may seem like a high standard in our age, but the next time someone steps on your toes, think before you speak, because your reaction may make all the difference in that person’s day, or even their life. Try to see that person as you, yourself, would want to be seen, and treat them as you, yourself, would like to be treated. Remember those little phrases, “Excuse me,” “I’m sorry” and “thank you.” God bless and have a great week!



Lisa K. Alessio is a lifelong resident and writer living in Grove City. She writes on life, faith and family for Allied News. Reach her at alongthe way2009@yahoo.com. Published February 10, 2010 in Allied News. Pick up a copy at 201A Erie St., Grove City.

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